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I recently achieved a milestone, one of those “bucket list” items I never thought I would achieve. I earned my black belt! Not the Six Sigma kind, as many in my field do, but the martial arts kind, specifically in Chayon Ryu, a martial arts system based on natural human movements (Chayon Ryu is Korean for Natural Way). However, the process of achieving my black belt also gave me insight into how the martial arts principles I learned apply to consulting and coaching practice. Unlike some martial arts schools, Kim Soo Karate requires all adults testing for black belt to write a black belt thesis. When I told the Grandmaster about how I explained to my masters students at UH the way martial arts principals apply to consulting, he asked me to write my thesis on the topic. So here is an excerpt:

I always knew Chayon Ryu could apply to many areas of life. But until last month, I had never considered that I could apply the principles of Chayon Ryu to my professional work.  The moment of inspiration occurred in my home office, while preparing for my next lecture. Over the previous months I had collected the boards broken by myself and Robby (my son) and stacked them on a shelf in our family room. My husband had tired of seeing them there, and plopped the entire stack on my desk. I was preparing my lecture on the Contracting phase of consulting and was searching for a powerful way to demonstrate the ambivalence clients have when they know they need help, but they have fears that get in the way.   In other words, the process of change itself makes the client feel vulnerable. Therefore, they may resist what the consultant proposes in a number of ways. They may question the consultant’s credentials or push them away as the project gets closer to starting, or sideline the consultant so that they lack access they need to relevant people and information. It is the consultant’s job to answer their questions, but also to identify resistance and address it directly so the client can move ahead.   As I read the material and thought about my lecture, I saw the stack of boards out of the corner of my eye. Suddenly, it struck me-the principles of Chayon Ryu apply to consulting, and the boards were the perfect prop!

The next day in class, I showed the class the two boards I broke in my black belt pre-test. I told them that, although I was nervous at the test, I delivered a side kick straight to the middle and went right through the boards, feeling no resistance. Some of the students looked impressed by this, but I went on to say that I am not big, and not very strong, so I assumed no one else would have difficulty breaking the boards if I was able to do it. However, the two people who went after me struggled to break the boards. One of them finally broke one of the two on the third try. They were puzzled and frustrated that it was so difficult for them. When I spoke to one of them, I told her I saw her energy stop at the board, as it did with one of the others. If you stop at the board, you cannot get to the other side.

At this point I said to my class, “You’re probably wondering why I’m talking about martial arts in consulting class, right?” I explained that when you are working with clients, they almost always have fears, many of which may be legitimate concerns that stop them from making the changes they know they need to make for the health of their business. Some of the “boards” they run up against may be that they will never get the support they need to sustain the change, or that their team will resent and resist the changes, or that if the implementation fails their boss will be mad, and they may lose their job. I went on to say that it is up to the consultant to identify what “boards” they are up against, so that together they can address those concerns and create a strong vision of success, thereby allowing them to “see beyond the boards” and achieve their goals. The key was that I had broken many boards before, so I took a deep breath and visualized myself breaking through. In my mind, the boards were not even in the way, so rather than kicking at the boards I kicked through the boards.

What “boards” or limiting beliefs are keeping you from achieving your goals? A coach can help you both identify what those are, and help you break through them to achieve your goals. Take that first step and contact me for your free consult!

I trained in martial arts on and off for 12 years before testing for brown belt while pregnant with my third child and quitting right after he was born. That was 9 years ago. Now I am back thanks to my son starting his training, and I am determined to stick it out till I earn my black belt and beyond.   One of the first things the new white belts learn in our system, as well as something we continue to practice in class, is how to fall. In other words, it is expected that you will fall when you are attacked, when you are sparring, even in daily life if you trip over a curb. So we all learn technique to fall in a way that we do not injure ourselves.

But why am I writing about martial arts in a blog about coaching and development?   I find that in my coaching practice, a lot of my work deals with helping people overcome their fears. The fears I encounter come in many forms-fear of embarrassment, fear of failure, or fear of hurting someone’s feelings. And as I was doing my falling practice in class the other day, it occurred to me that we all need some “falling practice” for life, so that we gain the confidence we need to pursue our goals, express ourselves, and live with no regrets. Just as falling practice in karate helps give me the courage to spar men twice my size, I believe learning how to fall, or how to fail, while maintaining your overall belief in yourself, is incredibly important for living a full life.

What can you do for “falling practice”? Here are some suggestions:

1. Write out your reactions or fears regarding a situation you are not sure how to handle, but feel you need to take action on.
2. Write down a list of fabulous things about you, things you do not want to change.
3. Take yourself through what would happen if you succeed, what would happen if you do not succeed, and what would happen if you did not try.

I hope this is helpful for you as you continue life’s journey.

Change tends to be difficult for most people.  It requires letting go of old habits and adapting to new ones.  Most of what we do as coaches is help people with change, whether it is making a necessary change in behavior, a change in career, or adapting to changes in their organization or lives.

Many of you are probably aware that we are currently in the midst of the Jewish “High Holy Days”.  The days in between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are meant to be a time of reflection, where you contemplate the past year, think of went well, what you would do differently, and resolve to make changes in the new year. Even if you’re not Jewish, this is a good opportunity to focus on a change you want to make.  Here are some tips for making your plans for change “stick”:

1. Set a challenging, yet achievable goal. If your final goal is a huge, multi-year project, determine a reasonable milestone to hit within the next year.

2. Find appropriate tools or resources (technology, people).

3. Anticipate obstacles (and think of ways to overcome them).

4. Acknowledge and overcome “limiting beliefs”. Many of us put off change because we think we can’t, or are afraid to fail.

5. Monitor progress, and celebrate small victories! This will encourage you to continue to put effort toward your goal, even if it takes a while to complete.

The Fitbit is a simple example of a tool that enables people to set goals and monitor progress.  My rabbi mentioned in his sermon that he and his family got Fitbits, which many of us also have. Now that he is monitoring in real time how much activity he has been getting, and how he compares to his family members (who are consistently informing him when they have more steps than he does), he is improving his fitness level and reaching new goals.  I have personally used my Fitbit to help me reach goals for both exercise and sleep.  No matter what your goal is, continue to set short term or mid-range goals, track progress, and take time to celebrate your accomplishments, whether it’s 10,000 steps or increasing sales by 10%.

I wish each and every one of you a wonderful, sweet year, no matter what your tradition is…and a year full of wonderful changes!

Perhaps you have seen the recent Time magazine cover story regarding XQ, or at least heard about it (“How High is Your XQ?” June 22, 2015 http://time.com/magazine/us/3917693/june-22nd-2015-vol-185-no-23-u-s/).  The gist of it is that now more and more companies are looking at not just IQ or EQ when selecting a new hire, but also XQ, or rather, how the person performs on a personality test.  I was excited to see an entire feature article informing the public about the field of industrial-organizational psychology and the work we do.  But I am afraid that using “XQ” to label the process of personality testing is misleading.  With both IQ and EQ, it is obvious that the higher you score, the better.  The same cannot be said for personality testing.  For any given job, you will want people to be higher on certain characteristics and lower on others.   For example, if you are hiring someone for a sales position, they are more likely to be successful if they are extroverted and sociable rather than cautious or reserved.  The reverse may be the case for a different job (i.e. accountant).  Therefore, XQ is not about one score, but about several dimensions of personality.  Therefore, implying that XQ is one score is misleading.  Whereas your IQ and EQ can be identified as one score, and you can see how “high” or “low” you are on each, the same cannot be said for XQ.

Therefore, while the article did a decent job presenting a balanced view of the benefits and concerns regarding personality testing, I fear that some people will take the label of XQ and, without reading further, will ask each other “how well” they scored on the XQ, or if their XQ is “high enough” to get a job.  Labels introduced in a public way such as this, and then supported by professionals in the field, have a way of sticking, along with whatever meaning that label implies.

Therefore, I would like to propose a question for you—Do you feel that XQ is a label we should embrace and promote for personality fit?  And if not, what ideas do you have for a better label, or do we need a label at all?